Usually defined as a spherical, personal meditation device. developed, marketed and distributed by Krystals ‘n’ Things, the Visioneering Sphere® is not exactly a device and is only roughly spherical. And though it would be true to say they’re marketed and distributed by Krystals ‘N’ Things (see: Krystals ‘n’ Things), Visioneering Spheres were hardly “developed” by anyone. In fact, it would be more correct to say that they were discovered, as they are naturally occurring Borinyum Krystal geodes, mostly found floating in the Mitochondrian Krystal belt amongst the other asteroids. In truth, Krystals ‘n’ Things’ entire contribution to the physical Visioneering Sphere® was to haul the Krystal-bearing asteroids back to their home planet to drill access holes in the geodes, so that purchasers might enter to place their posteriors in the one comfy seat KnT suspended in each geode’s center. This seat is needed, as sharp-edged, pointy Krystals prodding the Visioneer’s backside don’t provide much in the way of a meditation-inducing experience. Speaking of which, the use of the word “meditation” in the accepted definition of the VS is also a bit of a misnomer, as the experience delivered is something closer to being assaulted by visual and auditory—heck, let’s just say sensory—hallucinations. One need only read any history of the Mitochondrian Krystal Miners to understand the intensity of the experience, as well as potential side effects. In order to help their customers avoid said side effects, as well as to help Krystals ‘N’ Things avoid law suits, the company sells all Visioneering Spheres® with a 15-page religious tract titled Into the Light: Feeding Your Beastie for a Better Vision Experience. The tract first lays out the tenets of the religion of the Mitochondrian Krystal Miners, or “Beastie” religion, then explains the importance of having a religious context in which to “cushion” the visions/hallucinations that occur when the meditator is surrounded by the geode’s Krystals for any length of time. Casual use of Visioneering Spheres® for the purpose of partying is not advised. Such use after having eaten or imbibed Kublicaine, or any food or drink containing even small amounts of Kublicaine, may lead to insanity or death. Just sayin’.