While not the first song written about a hypothetical faster-than-light particle, We’ll Tag Along With a Tachyon is arguably the most frequently covered pop song about such a particle in the civilized multiverse. Though the first artist said to have recorded the song is another area of dispute, two likely candidates are the Roonaloonian skein band Look Ma No Hands, and Drive Flutters (see: Drive Flutters), a little-known house band at the popular bar The Brigader’s Bier on the Vale of Tiers, Rec 97. There may be minor variations to the lyrics in the oh-so-many versions of We’ll Tag Along With a Tachyon, but the most commonly occurring are as follows:

(Slow Intro…)
We’ve had enough of slowness
Some speed would be a bonus
The stars beyond
Call for you and me.
My life’s an open string
You’re more than just a fling
Let’s head for love,
Superluminally…

(Rocks out here…)
We’ll tag along with a tachyon
In a flash we’ll crash through the Milky Way
We’ll confuse time and space
Past the light we’ll race
Double date with ourselves on yesterday

We’ll tag along with a tachyon
In the flesh we’ll mesh theoretically
You break all my laws
You effect my cause
So speed up and relax energetically

Oh, you are the genuine article
And I love you part and particle
Physically speaking, you’re what I been seeking
We’re magnetically anti-partable.

We’ll tag along with a tachyon
Don’t resist, we’ll dismiss relativity
To the past we’ll rhyme
From a future time
Where our love propagates, paradoxically

We’ll tag along with a tachyon
Though distinct, we’re in synch, a duality
Sweet Anomaly
Come and fly with me
Forward into the past, hypothetically

You fill me with great excitation
We make time dance in wild syncopation
Your compact dimensions, attract my attentions
Your mass fires my imagination!

We’ll tag along with a tachyon
In a flash we’ll crash through the Milky Way
We’ll traverse time and space
With the light we’ll race
Double date with ourselves on yesterday

We’ll tag along with a tachyon
Bit by bit, we will split with causality
Temporarily
Break my symmetry
And we’ll write the obit for Reality

Oh, our hyper-fine acceleration
Has put me in a state of elation
Negatively equating with girls I been dating
I’m in for the minus-duration!

We’ll tag along with a tachyon…
We’ll tag along with a tachyon…
We’ll tag along with a tachyon…
(Repeat ad nauseam )