“On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to the Mother and to my Universe, to help other Girl Guides, whenever doing so does not conflict with my own best interest, and to obey, if possible, the Galactic Girl Guide Law” – Galactic Girl Guide Pledge. An organization dedicated to the schooling of young girls in survival tactics on a galactic scale, the Galactic Girl Guides trace their roots to Pre-Unification Amercadia. They began as the Junior Girl Guard, a branch of the Home Guard of the Sovereign Township of Kansas. The Girl Guard served as a training ground for future Kansan patriots (see: Rocket Rangers) and, according to tounit’s Official Galactic Girl Guide Handbook, was “probably okay, if you fancy being bullet bait for a bunch of blowhard big shots who could care less if you got your tail kicked forty ways from Sunday.” The Guard was immensely popular and spread to other Sovereign Townships in what was soon to become Amercadia. Their popularity dwindled during The Unification and the nationalization of the Home Guard. This was due, in part, to a lack of funding, as well as to the fact that most of the J.G.G.’s leadership had been drafted into the new Amercadian Home Guard. Their common-sense outlook and grassroots ideals remained close to the hearts of Amercadians, however, and during the early Expansion, they resurfaced. They broke their ties with what had been the Home Guard (now the Amercadian Space Brigade) and advertised themselves as a “school of hard knocks” that prepared young girls to cut the mustard in a tough galaxy. “It’s a TOUGH GALAXY,” read the recruiting posters, “but SOMEBODY’S gotta live in it. It might as well be YOU!” And from the official Galactic Girl Guide Handbook, “A Girl Guide is wary, cunning, clever, assertive, flexible, patient, inventive and brave, but not stupidly so.” Guides belong to a small group or “wing” and are classified by age as Chickadees, Jaybirds, Blackbirds and Senior Guides, or Voidettes. The coveted title Hawk Class Guide is an earned-only position. Today’s Guides are part of a Galaxywide net of 5,300,487 wings. The Guides are very loosely connected to each other through the 3G Mobile Galactic Headquarters and Campground. They work their way up in the ranks by acquiring merit badges. Some examples are: The “Do Yo Stuff” badge, awarded for escaping punishment when caught in the act. This badge is sometimes accompanied by the “Silver Tongued Sister” badge, if the guide manages to turn the situation entirely around in her favor so that she escapes with honor and awards. There are shark badges (card, pool, darkbone mark), a stowaway badge, and the highly prized “Sign of the Nova” badge, which is awarded for deceiving the Girl Guide staff into awarding you at least 52 badges you haven’t earned. This very useful education has created a great demand for Guide-trained women. They make terrific corporate spies, professional gamblers and hostess/ bouncers at some of the rougher leisure spots. Finally, the spirit of the Galactic Girl Guides is summed up in their motto: “TRUTH AS FAR AS IT GOES.”