Glossary Entry: Running In Place ®

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A popular and scandal ridden means of life extension, a must for the gravity-bound geezers who serve the space-going public. The Running In Place ® system was developed by New Eden Multi-Tech Labs during the early cycles of IER-CO (see: Incorporated Elysian Republic, the). It was heavily funded by the Voidphobic Pontius Augustus Henry Mohammed Bajar (see: Dictator, the Dread), who hoped to stay put and stay young and have the Universe come to him. Simply put, the system takes life (or life force, or life units) from a donor, increases it exponentially and shoots it into a recipient. The donor ages approximately 1 and ½ units for every rigon of life gained by the recipient. This, of course, varies from one individual to the next. The very first donor was a synthetic life form similar to MUDD ®, and a perfect donor it was… for a while. The nonsentient substance quickly developed an immunity to the process and had to be reinvented. This happened again and again and again. It was costly and annoying. In Cycle 30 AE, the Baron Roderigo Sejanus Vasco d’Gama Bajar, grandson of Pontius Augustus Henry Mohammed Bajar, sold the formula to Nick “The Geezer” Pico. Nick the Geezer made Running In Place ® the galactic pastime. He opened his first dealership on Recreation Station 97, next to his dream enhancement parlor, Nick the Geezer’s Land-o-Nod. Big Nick’s R.I.P. – Roamin’ Life Prolongation Parlor was an overunit success. Nick began selling franchises and renting Running In Place Mobile Life Modules that were connected to and fed by the chambers at Life Central, Rec 97. By Cycle 130, things were getting out of hand. Galactic law being what it is (see: Galactic Law, Lack of), Nick found it impossible to oversee the operation of all the franchises he’s licensed. Many life dealers, tired of the ever-rising price of synthetic life, began buying life from down-and-outers with nothing else to sell. By Cycle 140, wild rumors were flying. It was said that certain unscrupulous life dealers were abducting children and using them in the tanks. Such children would age without maturing. Mothers from here to the byzon Galaxy were warning their children to “be good, or they’ll get you and age you and send you to the Planet of Li’l Ole Kids.”