Glossary Entry: Griivarr, Bob

Born on Brown’s World in 167 I.E.T. and dubbed Brzzt Oomph Burble by his doting parents, Bob Griivarr grew to manhood without once giving any indication of possessing any quality that might raise him above the masses of the mediocre from whence he’d sprung. He stood head and shoulders above his torso and that was about it. But in AE 53, after a short apprenticeship to a spot welder, Bob joined the Collected Galactic Sheet Metal and Mine Workers and began work as a Marginal Shaft Safety Inspector (or Guinea Bird) on the Rec Station 85 project. While shinnying down an inactive shaft on Ficus II, Bob stumbled upon a time capsule packed in the type of coffin capsule so popular during pre wasting times on Amercadia (then Earth) due to the lack of pre-wasting burial sites (see: Over-Population, Terran). No one knows what was in that capsule, but it certainly changed the course of Bob Griivarr’s rather mundane life. He emerged from the Fican mine shaft, some three rigons later, holding the first draft of his galaxy-shattering tome, Bob Griivarr’s Simple Recipe for Happiness. The recipe included ingredients such as, “a generous measure of meaningful work, sweetened with companionship and affection, and leavened with familial duty.” The book was a huge success. With it’s proceeds, he purchased his first planet and named it Nyren Varr. This was the first of eight planets that would soon be known as the Griivarr Worlds, their culture and government based upon Bob Griivarr’s Simple Recipe for Happiness. (for more information see, Griivarr Worlds, the) The most famous of the Griivarr worlds is Hon Ober, thanks to the galaxy class amusement park in its capitol, Hon Grii. The park, Uncle Bob’s Fantanimalland, features exhibits of creatures, both sentient and non, from every corner of the known multiverse. Countless holorounds of Bob Griivarr, in his well-known persona, Uncle Bob, give instructions to visitors and bark for the parks numerous sideshows. After establishiing himself as a power in the universe, Bob Griivarr went on to father four famous children: Dwannyun “Bulldog” Griivarr (the semi-famous historian), Grunnyun “Buddy” Griivarr (the famous talkshow host), Bud Younger “Bud” Griivarr (the incredibly famous March Baptist Evangelist, Brother Bud) and Elizbut “Princess” Griivarr (the brilliant businesswoman).

Bob Grivarr as Uncle Bob

Bob Grivarr as Uncle Bob®