Starstruck

Glossary Entry: Alias

According to the latest data from the Galactic Registry of Planets, there are at least 927 inhabited planets named Alias, though use of the descriptor “inhabited” may be stretching a point. Most of these Alian Worlds could be described as marshy, muddy or swamp-like, though “grassy” and “greenish” are almost as frequently heard. There is wide agreement, however, that the most accurate word one might use, when referring to the physical features of the average Alias, is “nondescript.” But how, we may ask, did this pan-galactic gaggle of nondescript Aliases come to be so named? During the time of the Incorporated Elysian Republic and into the early cycles of Anarchera, there were never more than a handful of planets named Alias registered under that name with the GRP. Then, in cycle 141 AE, the Registry experienced an unprecedented deluge of requests from previously registered planets, asking, for various undisclosed reasons, that their accepted planetary names be replaced with the name Alias. According to a juicy bit of investigative reporting by Rootersnoos ferret Jimmy the Snout, this multi-planet “bang de nom” was the work of Chuck and the Banana-Fanas, a division of the Guernican Art Squad calling themselves Post-Verbal Evictionalists. It was revealed that the name-change requests had been artistically forged, for the purpose of confusing the various governments and law-enforcement agencies, military and fringe groups, bounty hunters and celebrity stalkers who were, at the time, searching the Multiverse for the two lady brigands who had so recently laid waste to several levels of Rec Station 97; one Galatia 9 and disgraced former Lieutenant of the Amercadian Space Brigade, Brucilla the Muscle. After somehow stumbling upon the fact that the Mizzes 9 and Muscle had gone into hiding on a nondescript planet named Alias, Chuck and the Banana-Fanas decided there could be no such thing as too many Aliases, whereas, until that point in time, even one had been one too many. Still, thanks to the propensity of humanoids for mimicking the behavior of their fellow humanoids, the ninety-odd Aliases spawned by the efforts of Chuck and his BFs were merely the snowball that started the avalanche. Like a virus, the Alian meme spread throughout the settled Multiverse. Flags were raised, wars fought, colonies on new worlds launched and, when the cosmic dust settled, Alias was by far the most popular planetary name known to humanoidkind.

Alias

Alias