“How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm, after they’ve seen the war?” read the recruiting poster – the very first recruiting poster for the U4F. Formed in Cycle 1 AE by rebel leaders Nia Once, Molly Medea and Leilani Qa’Kuraya, the stated purpose of the U4F was “to secure employment for the millions of female fighters who distinguished themselves in the great battle,” and “to bring, if we can, a halt to the senseless destruction of property that has marked, indeed marred, the first cycle of a new era” and “to make sure we don’t wind up back in the same soup we just crawled out of.” The patriarchal regime of Henry Mohammed Pontious Augustus Bajar (see: Dictator, The Dread) during the incorporated Elysian Republic had not been a good time for women. During the revolution, many young fighting women found that, when compared to their previous lives of boredom and drudgery, war was a piece of cake. Many were loathe to give it up after the glorious conclusion. Many didn’t. After the First Galactic Council for Deciding What to Do Next reached its history-making decision, hordes of female fighters surged, unimpeded, through the IER-CO armories and shipyards on Shangrila. They appropriated IER-CO Thunderbolts® and weapons and K Krystals by the podful. Then, they began, or rather, continued to blow things up.
Dr. A. Sherwyn Xyn, the distinguished psychiatrist who has made his life’s work the study of these women, tells us, in his brilliant volume, The Tendency to Senseless Violence in Female Ex Rebels During Early Anarchera: “They were really pissed. Most had spent their entire pre-war existence involved in the exhausting and meaningless labor, the fruits of which were being reaped by some fat-tailed Mr. Big, sitting in his palace in the Comfort Zone. For these women, life had boiled down to the simple equation, ‘Blow up or be blown.’ When seen in this light, the violence is completely sensible.” Today, the U4F is a vital, growing union of mercenary fighters, with a membership of more than 3 million. The employment rate of its members is the highest in the galaxy and it offers a very generous pension plan. The union entry examination is tougher than that for officers of the Amercadian Space Brigade. Ninety-five percent of their missions are completed successfully and their rates are extremely reasonable. “We’re females fighting for the little gal.” A note of warning to prospective employers: Pay your bill on time.