Starstruck

  • U
  • United Federation of Female Freedom Fighters, The

    “How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm, after they’ve seen the war?” read the recruiting poster – the very first recruiting poster for the U4F. Formed in Cycle 1 AE by rebel leaders Nia Once, Molly Medea and Leilani Qa’Kuraya, the stated purpose of the U4F was “to secure employment for the millions of female fighters who distinguished themselves in the great battle,” and “to bring, if we can, a halt to the senseless destruction of property that has marked, indeed marred, the first cycle of a new era” and “to make sure we don’t wind up back in the same soup we just crawled out of.” The patriarchal regime of Henry Mohammed Pontious Augustus Bajar (see: Dictator, The Dread) during the incorporated Elysian Republic had not been a good time for women. During the revolution, many young fighting women found that, when compared to their previous lives of boredom and drudgery, war was a piece of cake. Many were loathe to give it up after the glorious conclusion. Many didn’t. After the First Galactic Council for Deciding What to Do Next reached its history-making decision, hordes of female fighters surged, unimpeded, through the IER-CO armories and shipyards on Shangrila. They appropriated IER-CO Thunderbolts® and weapons and K Krystals by the podful. Then, they began, or rather, continued to blow things up.

    U4F Logo

    U4F Logo

    Dr. A. Sherwyn Xyn, the distinguished psychiatrist who has made his life’s work the study of these women, tells us, in his brilliant volume, The Tendency to Senseless Violence in Female Ex Rebels During Early Anarchera: “They were really pissed. Most had spent their entire pre-war existence involved in the exhausting and meaningless labor, the fruits of which were being reaped by some fat-tailed Mr. Big, sitting in his palace in the Comfort Zone. For these women, life had boiled down to the simple equation, ‘Blow up or be blown.’ When seen in this light, the violence is completely sensible.” Today, the U4F is a vital, growing union of mercenary fighters, with a membership of more than 3 million. The employment rate of its members is the highest in the galaxy and it offers a very generous pension plan. The union entry examination is tougher than that for officers of the Amercadian Space Brigade. Ninety-five percent of their missions are completed successfully and their rates are extremely reasonable. “We’re females fighting for the little gal.” A note of warning to prospective employers: Pay your bill on time.

    Us Against The Void

    Written in early Expansionist times by Sergeant A. V. McElroy, a bassoon player in the newly-formed Amercadian Space Brigade Band, Us Against The Void (The Amercadian Space Brigade Anthem) became both a source of inspiration and a source of power for Amercadia and the Universe at large. The lyrics are as follows:

    Close-ranked we stand,
    With arms of gold,
    ‘Neath banners blue of hue.
    The children of
    Earth’s finest mold,
    Clear-eyed, brave hearts
    And true.
    Our occupation, soldiering.
    Against the Void
    Our voices ring!
    Our long lost home,
    Of thee we sing!
    To thee we sing of you!

    Amerca-a-dia!
    So distant and so brown!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    The homeless sing your hymn!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    ‘Tis true you once were round!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    Bright jewel ne’er dimmed!

    If there’s a battle,
    You can bet,
    Though fun we love ‘tis true,
    We love our fighting
    Better yet!
    We love our freedom, too!
    And through the course
    Of history,
    There was but one society,
    That stood for might
    And liberty,
    The old Red, Green and Blue!

    Amerca-a-dia!
    Sweet old terrestrial ball!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    Our Mother’s finest whim!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    For you we give our all!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    Bright jewel ne’er dimmed!

    (drums)

    We stand and raise
    Our voices high,
    For those in peril in the sky,
    Who love their lives,
    Yet live to die,
    And never give a damn!
    So off we go,
    When there’s a threat,
    We love our home,
    We owe a debt,
    If we’ve not said it,
    You can bet,
    Her name begins with Am!

    (tenors)

    Amerca-a-dia!
    The glory and the gall!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    The hopeful and the grim!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    We die who heed your call!
    Amerca-a-dia!
    Bright jewel ne’er dimmed!

    We turn our faces
    Toward the sun.
    Most any sun will do!
    It’s might for all
    And all for one;
    The old Red, Green and Blue!
    So, off we blast to victory,
    In courage and humility!
    We ever strive
    For piety,
    The soul’s eternal glue!

    Amerca-a-dia! (ta-ta-ta-tum)
    So distant and so brown!
    Amerca-(ta-ta-ta-tum)-dia! (ta-ta-ta-tum)
    The homeless sing your hymn!
    Amerca-a-dia! (ta-ta-ta-tum)
    ‘Tis true you once were round!
    Amerca-(ta-ta-ta-tum)-dia! (ta-ta-ta-tum)
    Bright Jewel n’ere –
    Our foes beware!
    Bright jewel n’ere dimmed!
    (ta-ta-ta-tum-BOOM)

    As of this writing, the Brigade still receives royalties on each and every Krystal Drive sold by New Eden Multi-Tech Labs for the continuous-loop recording of the Amercadian Space Brigade Drum and Bugle Corps’ version (Cycle 149 ET) of Us Against The Void that is used as fuel by the now standard drive. (See: Krystals, Borinyum)

    Us Against the Void

    Us Against the Void