Starstruck

  • J
  • Jimmy the Snout

    A well-known Rootersnoos Ferret, famous for his reports on the Rec Station News service, his news magazine show 48 Marbecs (a production of Rootersnoos, in conjunction with Rec Station Infotainment), his shock of wavy reddish hair and his boyish good looks. Jimmy burst onto the galactic scene in AE 122, as the tap-dancing teen “Cubby” on Uncle Bob’s Fantanimals, the long-running children’s show produced by Griivarr Worlds Funtasm. Rumored to be a RIP zoner (person addicted to Running In Place, the popular means of life-extension), the Snout’s physical appearance has changed remarkably little since his days of hoofing it with his four-, six- and nine-legged pals.

    Rootersnoos Ferret, Jimmy the Snout

    Rootersnoos Ferret, Jimmy the Snout

    Joe Andy Nova ®

    1) A multi-myd, adjustable personality, male pleasure droid, 2) a customized member of this pleasure droid line that became famous as a pop singer, during the second century of AnarchEra. Introduced in Cycle 130 Anarchera, by Living Doll Cybernetics, Joe Andy Nova ®, “the Multi-Myd Droid with that special something,” was actually developed by the Handi Andi Corporation some ten cycles earlier. The Joe Andy Prototype, Jason III, was (due to a long-running battle with cyberphobic pressure groups) the very first anatomically correct male android. Known to the public as “Kick-on-a-Stick,” he was, in the beginning, simply a male version of the standard (female) pleasure droid that had been booting around the galaxy for centicycles. But what had been good for the gander, didn’t cook for the goose. The first run was not a big seller and Handi Andi, who had lost a bundle on the deal, sold the design to Living Doll Cybernetics.

    “What kind of woman owns Andy? She’s smart, she’s tough, she’s seen a bit of the Multiverse. She knows what she wants and how she wants it.”

    This was the ad copy for the Living Doll telerounds that introduced Joe Andy Nova ® to humanoidkind. This was not, however, the case. Once Living Doll had acquired the rights to Joe Andy, they had set about finding out why he didn’t sell in the first place. Living Doll sent questionnaires to billions of women, asking them exactly what they would like to see in or on a male pleasure droid. They got answers like:

    1) blue (or brown, or violet) eyes
    2) a nice voice
    3) an assortment of detachable appendages.

    So Living Doll gave the potential customer a Multi-Myd Joe Andy Nova ® with a nice voice, “YOUR choice” of eye color and an assortment of detachable appendages “sized to fit YOU.” They also gave a “Guaranteed to Pleeze within 30 Units or your Credit Back” certificate. The droids sold like hotcakes, but they didn’t stay sold. During that first cycle, more than two out of three droids were returned within the thirty units. When Living Doll asked the women why they were returning the droids, they were given answers like,

    1) “Something about the eyes wasn’t right,”
    2) “The voice was nice, it just wasn’t quite right,”
    3) “It just didn’t feel… you know… right.”

    In her famous essay, Tin Soldier / or Venus in Purgatory, Kettle Black, self-proclaimed leader of the Guernican Art Squad, had this to say about the phenomenon: “Sex is Art and Art is Power. For the Man, there is power in muscle and size, the power of thighs. His is the Pow-Her, the art of being the Booter, as opposed to the Bootee, while Woman is magnet power – the power of tussle and sighs. This power lies in her ability to hold the man as a Troikani holds an audience. Her hand in his gut, she moves Him to move Her. There is more pleasure for Woman in this subtle power – the power of the Mage-Net – than in the total power-over she might experience with a programmed-to-please boy-toy. There is no audience in his cold, glass eye. There is no Art in this one woman show.”

    Living Doll went back to the drawing board.