Starstruck

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  • Galactic Girl Guide Manual, Official

    Along with Ordering AnarchEra, the go-to guide (as opposed to Guide) for the discriminating spacer who wants to know what’s what and who’s who in the inhabited zones of the multiverse, though the 3G Manual may be a touch more cynical (realistic, according to Guide Leadership) than the reference you are currently browsing. Aside from its sections on Guide Badges, Rank Climbing and Soup Can Derby rules, which are (for the most part) important only to active Guides, the Manual includes chapters on basic survival on the various planets and artificial worlds, tips on bribing officials, maps to the homes of suckers (kind supporters, according to Guide Leadership), How-To instructions on topics from lock-picking to negotiating with pawn brokers and winning at craps, and a Galactic Bestiary, containing descriptions of the fighting, mating and feeding habits of creatures from numerous worlds, both sentient and non. The Bestiary alone has saved innumerable lives. Needless to say, the Official Galactic Girl Manual is an extremely valuable commodity. If you manage to run across a copy, you should obtain it by any means and guard it with your life.

    Galactic Girl Guide with Manual

    Galactic Girl Guide with Manual

    Galactic Girl Guide Mobile Campground and Headquarters

    A huge Krystal-driven station-ship that houses the offices of the 3G Rotating Leadership, as well as a fully functioning campground, built by Griivarr Interprises, Inc., and paid for with annual dues from the 5,300,487 Galactic Girl Guide wings. The acquisition of the 3GMCH at a discounted price (see: Griivarr Interprises Stock Slump of AE 96) was a real coup for the organization, as having a camp and headquarters that is also a station-ship allows the Guides to schedule events in different parts of the known universe, while avoiding the related (some might say, “inevitable”) legal difficulties, somewhat like a moving craps game. Sporting a very realistic simulated sky, tuned to old Terran day/night sequence, the campground includes seven large lakes, 37 water slides, archery and blaster ranges, five NATURE ® trails, 53 Guide-knotted rope bridges, 18 go-can tracks, and a state-of-the-art obstacle course that rivals that of the Amercadian Space Academy (see: Mysterious Course Looting of AE 99, the). There is a camp canteen where the practice of filching skills is encouraged, an Indoor Games Lodge where three-card monty and other games of chance may be played, and a Motorpool where campers learn the invaluable art of hotwiring “abandoned” ships. The seven million and some odd scenic campsites are decorated with attractive and long-lasting Plant-y-Pals, a premium foliage substitute designed, manufactured and supplied by GII. All maintenance and repairs on the 3GMCH are done through Merry Mechs, a repair service company founded and run by former Guides. It is rumored that all parts and upgrades used on the 3GMCH “fell from the holds” of Merry Mechs ships on their way to other jobs, allowing Merry Mechs to service the campground for an extremely reasonable price. The 3G Mobile Campground is the preferred site for the annual Guide/Ranger Camporee (see: Guide/Ranger Camporee, the Annual) and Soup-Can Derby.

    Galactic Girl Guide Mobile Campground

    3G Mobile Campground and Headquarters

    Galactic Girl Guides

    “On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to the Mother and to my Universe, to help other Girl Guides, whenever doing so does not conflict with my own best interest, and to obey, if possible, the Galactic Girl Guide Law” – Galactic Girl Guide Pledge. An organization dedicated to the schooling of young girls in survival tactics on a galactic scale, the Galactic Girl Guides trace their roots to Pre-Unification Amercadia. They began as the Junior Girl Guard, a branch of the Home Guard of the Sovereign Township of Kansas. The Girl Guard served as a training ground for future Kansan patriots (see: Rocket Rangers) and, according to tounit’s Official Galactic Girl Guide Handbook, was “probably okay, if you fancy being bullet bait for a bunch of blowhard big shots who could care less if you got your tail kicked forty ways from Sunday.” The Guard was immensely popular and spread to other Sovereign Townships in what was soon to become Amercadia. Their popularity dwindled during The Unification and the nationalization of the Home Guard. This was due, in part, to a lack of funding, as well as to the fact that most of the J.G.G.’s leadership had been drafted into the new Amercadian Home Guard. Their common-sense outlook and grassroots ideals remained close to the hearts of Amercadians, however, and during the early Expansion, they resurfaced. They broke their ties with what had been the Home Guard (now the Amercadian Space Brigade) and advertised themselves as a “school of hard knocks” that prepared young girls to cut the mustard in a tough galaxy. “It’s a TOUGH GALAXY,” read the recruiting posters, “but SOMEBODY’S gotta live in it. It might as well be YOU!” And from the official Galactic Girl Guide Handbook, “A Girl Guide is wary, cunning, clever, assertive, flexible, patient, inventive and brave, but not stupidly so.” Guides belong to a small group or “wing” and are classified by age as Chickadees, Jaybirds, Blackbirds and Senior Guides, or Voidettes. The coveted title Hawk Class Guide is an earned-only position. Today’s Guides are part of a Galaxywide net of 5,300,487 wings. The Guides are very loosely connected to each other through the 3G Mobile Galactic Headquarters and Campground. They work their way up in the ranks by acquiring merit badges. Some examples are: The “Do Yo Stuff” badge, awarded for escaping punishment when caught in the act. This badge is sometimes accompanied by the “Silver Tongued Sister” badge, if the guide manages to turn the situation entirely around in her favor so that she escapes with honor and awards. There are shark badges (card, pool, darkbone mark), a stowaway badge, and the highly prized “Sign of the Nova” badge, which is awarded for deceiving the Girl Guide staff into awarding you at least 52 badges you haven’t earned. This very useful education has created a great demand for Guide-trained women. They make terrific corporate spies, professional gamblers and hostess/ bouncers at some of the rougher leisure spots. Finally, the spirit of the Galactic Girl Guides is summed up in their motto: “TRUTH AS FAR AS IT GOES.”

    Galactic Girl Guides

    Galactic Girl Guides

    Galatia 9

    1) Galatia 9, fairly recent incarnation of the Omegazonian Maiden Goddess, daughter of the Star Mother, bringer of the bow. 2) Galatia 9 AKA Molly Medea Younger, granddaughter of Hera of the Revolution, Molly Medea, from her daughter Margaret, by Siegfried Siegfriedson. A U4F affiliated “freelance fighter” Captain and self-proclaimed Poet Militant (See: United Federation of Female Freedom Fighters, The), Galatia 9 took the name while serving time on Omega 6 (See: Omega 6), where she joined a tribe of Omegan Amazons (See: Omegazons), rather than becoming the sex toy of a pack of Lyconian Dromo Rustlers (See: Dromo Rustlers, Lyconian).

    Galatia 9 (AKA Molly Medea Younger)

    Galatia 9 (AKA Molly Medea Younger)

    Gardenton

    According to its residents, a small city on Planet 007 in the Xychromo Zone. According to almost anyone else, a backwater burg on a planet no sentient being would voluntarily visit, located in a Zone known for it’s hostility toward the more intelligent lifeforms. (See: Xychromo Zone) The name Gardenton (Garden Town) is thought to have become the town’s name, due to a mishearing of Guardianton, as the “city” was established as a bedroom community for the many guards at the women’s correctional facility Heart Knox. (See: Heart Knox)

    Garuda ®

    A smallish, krystal-driven thru-ship, manufactured in the final days of the Incorporated Elysian Republic (which was neither paradise, nor a republic), and sold as “The Dazzling New Garuda®! Conspicuous Luxury at an Exorbitant Price! New for IET 192! Supplies Strictly Limited.” If one takes the average humanoid’s attraction to sparkly objects, and multiplies it by a factor of five, that should give the interested party some idea of the questionable taste of the late Dread Dictator, known during the cycles of IET as Our Benefactor. During those cycles, many tried to curry favor with said Benefactor by adorning themselves, their kin, their pets and their various means of transportation with gems, ribbons, furs, glittery geegaws and shiny paint. Enter Garuda®! Its price mind-blowing, its upkeep astronomical, the krystal-driven Garuda® was marketed to social climbers of the rich-but-common classes and advertised as “guaranteed to catch the eye of Our Benefactor, as every detail has been finished with his exquisite taste in mind!” Oft labeled eye-catching, obvious, showy or stunning, the gaudy little pleasure ships were built to be rare, as so few were built. There were never more than ten in existence. As stipulated in their contracts, the designers and builders of the space-going craft had their memories selectively wiped, once #10 had rolled off of the line. Unfortunately for the company, #10 rolled off the line mere martrons before the destruction of the planet Vaikuntha insured the end of the Incorporated Elysian Republic and its Dictator. They were sold at auction for chump change.

    Gate, The

    A concept quite common in the lexicons of many of our galaxy’s more sensible religions. Also known as the Portal, the Passage, and the Strong Door (because no amount of physical strength will open it), the Gate is the opening (or openings, as all openings are the one opening) between our Universe (Multiverse, Omniverse, All) and every other possible Universe. According to experts in these matters, not just anyone can pass through The Gate. The odds are weighted heavily in favor of the Natural Man (Woman) and the Spiritual Adept and are, likewise, weighted against the overcivilized and the uninitiated. These same experts disagree as to whether The Gate is a physical reality or a fact of the psyche. They do, however, agree that the best way to pass through The Gate is to think (or unthink) your way through.

    The Gate

    The Gate

    Geezer

    1) A senile old fool. 2) A stuffed shirt, stick in the mud, or joy-stifling bore. 3) Any sentient being who spends the majority of his, her or its time on-world and thus, in the eyes of spacers, ages quickly. 4) Any sentient being with too much credit in the holding bay.

    Glorianna of Phoebus

    Mitochondrian High Priestess  and Head of State. Glorianna rose to prominence in the Phoebus System during the early 90s AE, around the same time that the miners of Mitochondria’s Krystal-rich asteroid belt received the shares in their own mines, willed to them by Mary Medea (see: Medea, Mary). Elected by popular vote, Prime Minster Glorianna is credited with giving the Phoebus System miners a spiritual context with which to understand and control the mental disturbance known as Light Deprivation, a result of spending too much time down holes full of Krystals (see: Krystals, Borinyum).  Devotees of Glorianna’s religion, or Beasties (see: Beastie), worship Glorianna as a demigoddess. Anyone who’s ever spent any time in a Krystal mine knows why.

    Greenjeans, Mr.

    An ambiguous personage mentioned in the poem “Maggie Killed a Little Bird,” by self-described Poet Militant, Galatia 9 (AKA Molly Medea Younger), from her slim book of poetry Rhymes Times Nine. Though some critics (and there were many) believed Mr. Greenjeans to be a veiled reference to the poet’s deceased father (See: Siegfriedson, Siegfried “McMauMau”), others countered that the colorful moniker was most certainly the name of the “Little Bird” itself.

    Griivarr T-Vyou

    The ever-present, blandly comforting countenance of Brzzzt Oomph Burble “You can call me BOB” Griivarr, as seen and heard in every household, restaurant, park and public facility on each and every Griivarr World. Uncle Bob, as GW residents call him, is a virtual droid, programmed with the personality and memories of its prototype. Uncle Bob interacts with “his” citizens on a very personal level, providing companionship, giving aid, and offering advice.

    Griivarr Worlds, The

    Eight planets in the Tevalt, Grubsteak, and Yesteryear Systems, on the edge of the Last Frontier. These planets were bought, developed and are now managed by Brzzzt Oomph Burble “You can call me BOB” Griivarr, under the auspices of Griivarr Interprises, Inc. and their government and culture is based on the philosophy put forward in the galaxy-shattering tome Bob Griivarr’s Simple Recipe for Happiness. Griivarr’s joy-producing recipe included “ingrediants”  such as meaningful work, membership in a cohesive community and opportunity for displaying unselfish concern for one’s neighbors. The Griivarr Worlds and their capital cities are as follows: Hon Grii (Hon Ober), Nyren Var (Varr Enov), Un D’ Varr (Varr Aut), Ve D’ Varr (Varr Niss), Tu Varr (Hao Varr), Grii Dii (Neer Enov), Varr Var (Yaway) and D’ Varrthest (Varr Anaway).

    Griivarr, Bob

    Born on Brown’s World in 167 I.E.T. and dubbed Brzzt Oomph Burble by his doting parents, Bob Griivarr grew to manhood without once giving any indication of possessing any quality that might raise him above the masses of the mediocre from whence he’d sprung. He stood head and shoulders above his torso and that was about it. But in AE 53, after a short apprenticeship to a spot welder, Bob joined the Collected Galactic Sheet Metal and Mine Workers and began work as a Marginal Shaft Safety Inspector (or Guinea Bird) on the Rec Station 85 project. While shinnying down an inactive shaft on Ficus II, Bob stumbled upon a time capsule packed in the type of coffin capsule so popular during pre wasting times on Amercadia (then Earth) due to the lack of pre-wasting burial sites (see: Over-Population, Terran). No one knows what was in that capsule, but it certainly changed the course of Bob Griivarr’s rather mundane life. He emerged from the Fican mine shaft, some three rigons later, holding the first draft of his galaxy-shattering tome, Bob Griivarr’s Simple Recipe for Happiness. The recipe included ingredients such as, “a generous measure of meaningful work, sweetened with companionship and affection, and leavened with familial duty.” The book was a huge success. With it’s proceeds, he purchased his first planet and named it Nyren Varr. This was the first of eight planets that would soon be known as the Griivarr Worlds, their culture and government based upon Bob Griivarr’s Simple Recipe for Happiness. (for more information see, Griivarr Worlds, the) The most famous of the Griivarr worlds is Hon Ober, thanks to the galaxy class amusement park in its capitol, Hon Grii. The park, Uncle Bob’s Fantanimalland, features exhibits of creatures, both sentient and non, from every corner of the known multiverse. Countless holorounds of Bob Griivarr, in his well-known persona, Uncle Bob, give instructions to visitors and bark for the parks numerous sideshows. After establishiing himself as a power in the universe, Bob Griivarr went on to father four famous children: Dwannyun “Bulldog” Griivarr (the semi-famous historian), Grunnyun “Buddy” Griivarr (the famous talkshow host), Bud Younger “Bud” Griivarr (the incredibly famous March Baptist Evangelist, Brother Bud) and Elizbut “Princess” Griivarr (the brilliant businesswoman).

    Bob Grivarr as Uncle Bob

    Bob Grivarr as Uncle Bob®

    Griivarr, Dwannyun of

    Eldest son of famous self-help author and Griivarr Worlds Head of State, Bob Griivarr. Dwannyun “Bulldog” Griivarr, the semi famous historian, washed out in several fields of endeavor (Amercadian Space Brigader, stand-up comic, minion of evil) before finding his way, first as a crewman on the U4F Harpy, later as a professor of history. One might speculate that his position on the Harpy placed him in the perfect spot from which to view, and later to reflect upon, certain pivotal events leading up to The Great Change, thus paving the way for his later career. Dwannyun of Griivarr, MA, PHD, PFF, BSH, BXM, PGMSSB, Historian Emeritus of Griivonia College, University of Griivarr, Hon Ober, Hon Grii, Griivarr Worlds, would go on to pen dozens of books, including Musings on the Events Leading Up to the Great Change and Of Playgrounds and Pecking Orders, his history of the rocky relationship between the Rocket Rangers (see: Rocket Rangers) and the Galactic Girl Guides (see: Galactic Girl Guides), told through his personal relationship with former Hawk Class Guide, Brucilla the Muscle.

    Grommit, Anderson

    A businessman who appeared on the galactic scene during the early cycles of Anarchera. With partner Mary Medea, Grommit founded and co-owned Living Doll Cybernetics®, a company that specializes in the design and manufacture of pleasure droids, though LDC has dabbled in the manufacture and distribution of non-sentient “companionship,” through their Bargain Bliss division. (See: Pleasure Putty) As of this writing, Mr. Grommit remains an owner of Living Doll and is now, as far can be verified, sole owner of the company. (Also see: Factor, Randall)

    Guernica

    Standard name for the fourth planet in the Guernican System; chosen home of the Guernican Art Squad, a cultural organization dedicated to the eradication of ill-conceived or poorly exectuted works of art. The planet’s original name (from expansionist times) is lost in obscurity. Every aspect of the planet, environment, geography, size, inclination on axis, et cetera, is in constant flux for various artistic reasons, except for its gorgeous (one could almost say “gaudy”) ring system, constructed by the “Return to Forever” Neo-Pre-Expansionist Movement (Cycle 6 AE) from the second, sixth and 12th planets of the same system. The rings are quite large and unstable, nudging into orbits of the third and fifth planets. The remaining planets of the system have been variously carved, reassembled, or vaporized into gaseous statements, except for the fifth planet which doesn’t actually exist except as a concept in the mind of Ann Ominous, a nonverbal conceptual constructionalist and gun runner. A 13th planet was comissioned in Cyce 142 AE, by Kettle Black, the Art Squad’s self-proclaimed leader, but work was abandoned when the artist, after a particularly bad week, sunk into an 18-cycle slough of despond with accompanying  creative block. The planet name, as well as the name of its sun and various orbiting objets d’art, is constantly changing according to the whim of the inhabitants; names like “Red” or “Spike” or “Crystal Palette of the Aethric Plane.” The name Guernica is used in this definition and all major star charts, since it was the first post-IER planetary name. You will find other names for the Guernican System on star charts designed on Guernica, but the editors strongly suggest such charts be used strictly as conversation pieces, as they have absolutely no reference to reality as we know it. Pretty, though!

    Guide/Ranger Camporee, the Annual

    A week of camping, contests and camaraderie for active members of the Galactic Girl Guides and (Boy) Rocket Rangers, the 3GRR Camporee is the ultimate in “girls versus boys” competition. The event is almost always held on the Galactic Girl Guide Mobile Campground and Headquarters, as this allows the Camporee to serve those Guides and Rangers hailing from “Bumpkinville in the Zero Zone” or even as far away as “Bum-Boot, Egypt, in the Byzon Galaxy.” Campers must register for the event through their respective organizations and are sent invitations with the Campground’s coordinates just units before the Camporee’s opening ceremonies, in order to keep the spoilsports guessing! Camporee games include the usual sack racing, knot tying, swimming and blaster-tag competitions, as well as sing-a-longs and tall tales around the campfire. The highlight of the 7-Unit event is the Soup-Can Derby, in which Guide and Ranger teams race kid-made airships made of cannibalized parts and thrown together with the proverbial “duct tape, gum and baling wire,” the first step to building something space-worthy! The three exciting units leading up to the Derby are spent souping up cans, developing an arsenal of dirty tricks, and trying to find and destroy the opponents’ entries

    Soup Can Derby Trophy

    Soup Can Derby Trophy

    Gutters, The

    1) The most disreputable section of any hamlet, village, burg, town, county, colony, province, state, nation, planet, system or sector; 2) On any rotating ship, station or humanoid-made world, the lowest or innermost ring or level still habitable (though uncomfortably so) by sentient beings, due to its very low gravity; 3) The lowest or innermost level of a Recreation Station, usually inhabited by robots and cyberforms, low-end sex workers and rogue droids, cybernetically-enhanced humanoids and natives of low-gravity worlds, and frequented by the worst sort of gawkers, geezers, con artists, pawn-brokers, fences, felons, life-dealers, losers of every make and model, and the ubiquitous Galactic Girl Guides. Let the visitor beware!